Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
