Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
