I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
