i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She even gives head with a lisp.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
