what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
