do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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