ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
