so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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