I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
