this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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