She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
