scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
