my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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