sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
