Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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