i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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