I love having hate sex.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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