So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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