Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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