brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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