Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
