Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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