You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
