I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
