Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
