Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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