I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
