only if we run a train.
done.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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