Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
