Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
