No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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