I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
