Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i now understand why vodka
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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