you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
