were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
