I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
