toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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