We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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