I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
