i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
