Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
