so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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