I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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