Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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