The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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