You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
