dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
