Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.

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(404): View more from Georgia

She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me

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(810): View more from Michigan

I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.

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(515): View more from Iowa

What did I eat last night that was bloody?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...

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(702): View more from Nevada

Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting

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(305): View more from Florida

He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?

(305): View more from Florida

Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.

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(217): View more from Illinois

There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.

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