There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
