Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I understand Curling. That high.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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