shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
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