there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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