You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
