I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
