it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
