I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
