..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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