and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
