there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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