So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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