Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize
