just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
