I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
