sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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