Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
