I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
