Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
